I have always viewed stress as negative, until now. Don’t get me wrong, it can be extremely detrimental to a person’s health but recent research and articles are stating that it is how we view stress that is the difference between whether it adversely affects our health or improves our lives.
Stress is inevitable, although I agree that some people experience stressful situations more than others. I have certainly had my fair share of those over the years.
One of my close friends always encounters stressful situations. The phrase, “It can only happen to me,” is frequently discussed over the dinner table and we laugh at how bizarre some of his stories are. You couldn’t make them up if you tried. He has had some awful things happen to him as an innocent bystander and they can still haunt him now. But, when I met with him recently, he seemed much more relaxed about the stories he was recounting than in previous years. His best friend states that nothing ever happens to him and I point out that it doesn’t need to because he lives those moments for both of them.
It is weird how life will tee you up to encounter those situations; if I only had stayed in bed longer, if I hadn’t turned the car around, if I hadn’t missed my turning….
How we view and deal with those situations depends on our mindset at the time. Recent studies have shown that if we are positive about them, the brain and body program us to learn physically from these situations and we are able to deal with such stressful situations next time we encounter something similar. Therefore, we are able to cope better next time. Those people that never encounter much stress in their lives will not be building up their resilience in the same way.
Stress can be traumatising and it is a very exhausting state to live in. I know that I work with more focus and productivity if I have a certain amount of pressure on me, it’s just the way I am but I do also find it a very tiring state to be in. Now reading that stress can enhance a person’s wellbeing has led me to decide to take a different viewpoint and I shall develop a more positive mindset to stress therefore allowing allow my body to recognise it and get ready.
Ideas to become positive about stress:
- Recognise what worry is for us
- Remember it is a moment in time – not forever
- Reframe the stress – have a positive outlook allowing the brain to ‘broaden and build’ rather than opt for the ‘fight or flight mode’
- Focus on what you can control
- Focus on the task not the emotion
- Recognise who you can turn to for support – develop/recognise a network of support covering all areas of your life; friends, family, colleagues
- Develop and appreciate any opportunities for stress-handling experience to build up some stressful but not game-changing situations
- Think about progress not perfection
- Be kind to yourself
- Plan breaks and do things you enjoy
- Develop positive self-talk
- Develop routines so that everyday activities do not add to your stress levels the more decisions you have to make
Remember, when you are stressed it means you care.
You can find out more by reading, ‘The Upside of Stress and How to Get Good at It’ by Kelly McGonigal.